Holy Water by Big & Rich

I directed anyone from myspace to came here if they wanted to follow my blog. So, this is an updat for anyone from myspace.

UPDATE

It's been almost a whole year, but I finally went back onto myspace. And now practically everyone is on facebook. Yay.

My first semester of college is over. I still have no major.

I got highlights for the first time. They were not what I had hoped and do not really compliment my hair.

I am now 19. But, what does a number mean? I've been on this planet long enough to circle the sun 19 times. Yay.

Truly, I believe that wisdom is the real teller of age. And wisdom does not only come from experience but from the lessons learned from those experiences. I have few life experiences and fewer lessons from those experiences, so I find myself not at all the true age of an adult.

Although, there have been experiences that are only to be called adult experiences. They have made me think so very much lately (partly the reason I do less and think more) that it makes me feel so worn I should feel to be much older.

I am, as ever, a walking contradiction.

I read, but not as much as I used to. I listen to music, but not as much as I used to (due, in part, to my car radio that seems to be incapable of producing anything more than static). My drawings are nonexistent and I sing more in solitude. My pitiful writings are at a standstill. I do not hold the concentration to sit and focus enough to come up with words that are pleasing enough to create a decent plotline.

My family. I will not go into that now.

I have writen enough for today. If anyone should actually happen upon this, congrats. You have found a long lost blog spot I only just remembered about a few days ago. Only three people knew about this place previously and have long since looked at it. What a great place to write and not really feel that anyone should truly see it. One can almost be fully open in what they write.

Almost.

Sparkle by Rubyhorse (LOOK IT UP!)

Christmas is quickly approaching and I feel as if it was just graduation. I'm already done with my first semester of college. Time seems to go so fast and so slow all at once. I sit here and think of what I have accomplished and find I cannot write anything down. Yet, I feel as if I have been all over and I do so many things that I am crazed.
I guess that none of what I have done really counts as anything. I have no direction, no goal, no motivation. I would much rather sit and daydream, where I am content and happy than look at the life I have which is going no where fast. I used to have so many dreams but now I have become so pessimistic I cannot fathom reaching any of my previous ideas. Maybe, one day, I will find that drive, that vigor, that spark that will light the youthful fantasies again and I will become the person I used to dream of.

Views of Love

I haven't been on blogger in forever!! I can't believe I still remember the password!! LOL!
Anyway, thanks Ben for the next topic to write about!
Love.
What a complicated, confusing, amazing, crazy thing love is. Not only that, but there are so many different kinds of love. There's the love of a parent to a child, child to a parent, siblings, friends, significant others, and soul mates.
There are so many things I could discuss about love! I'm not sure where to start. Maybe I'll just talk about the big one, the love of your one and only. Your soul mate.
This love is so strong, but it's different for everyone. And, to find that one special person, you may go through a lot of significant others. You'll have to learn from all of those relationships that may have not been perfect. Mold and shape them until you define what is your perfect love, until you find who is your soul mate.
Sadly, I don't have much experience in the significant other section, but I have learned a lot about the molding section from relationships I have seen my family and friends go through. I've learned to use my morals and beliefs as a standing stone, and when I find someone to be a significant other, I'll build from there.

Again, thanks Ben!!! If there is anything on the topic of love you specifically wanted me to talk about that I didn't, you know what button to push!

Ok, guys. I need a new topic!!! Does anyone get on this site anyway now that school's out?

Prayer

Erin gave me a topic and I promised to post. So, here it is.

Most people think about prayer as a way to ask God for the things they need or want. I have a bit of a different view thanks to one of my Sunday School classes. We were watching this dvd series called 'Nooma.' They are awesome and all about spiritual perspectives. If you are interested in watching these awesome and thought provoking dvds, let me know and I can borrow them from my youth leader.
Anyone, there was one about prayer. I can't describe it well, so bare with me. It talked about the questions people always ask about prayer, especially the most common question, 'If God hears my prayer, why doesn't He answer it?'
People!!!! He does!!! If may not be the answer you want. You may not even see that He is answering it. But, you have to have the faith to know that He has the best interest for not only you, but eveyone in mind.
And prayer isn't just about asking for things. Prayer is a way to thank God for everything He has given you. The friends that are in your life are there to help you because He put them there. He is the reason that you have the loving people around you. It's a way to praise His awesomeness and power and love for you. Everything in your life that is amazing is there because He wants the best for you!
Some people question my last statement. 'If He wants the best for me, then why does He let bad things happen?'
This is a hard question and I struggle with it sometimes when I'm in grief. I'm sad to say, but when things are down, I question Him, too. But, I'm wrong when I do that. There is evil in this world. Because of that evil, we have illness and betrayal and murder and adultry. He can't take that away because He gave use a very powerful gift. The gift of free will. We have the option to chose what ever we want. We can do good or evil; pick right or wrong. We can believe in Him or believe in false gods.
This doesn't mean that He doesn't want us to believe in Him. He loves us and everytime we turn our backs on Him, deny Him, He hurts. He loves us and wants us with Him always; want's us to love Him always. But, He doesn't want it to be a forced love. If doesn't mean anything if it is. He wants us to love Him because we have the choice and we choose Him above all else.

I've strayed from the topic. Back to prayer. Prayer is also a way to just think about God and see what He has in store for us. In a time of hardship, prayer can help you choose the path that is right be praying about what God would want you to book. A great book that would show this is 'This Present Darkness.' I just recently read this book and it shows how powerful prayer is.

Ok. Erin is complaining that I'm taking too long typing this. I have read her post yet. So, please comment about prayer and give me another topic!!!!!!

Four Day Weekend

So, this past weekend, I spent my time at my dad's. He is so awesome and I miss him. I haven't been gotten to stay at his place in like two months. I hope to spend next week at his house again. On Sunday, we celebrated Memorial Day at my dad's house. We had a cook out and went swimming. My sister got the dvd 'Taken.' We watched it. It was ok. The main character was a little to bold for my taste.
On Monday, my youth group had a small party for the seniors. We played games, ate food, talked, and laughed a lot!
So, my weekend was good!
I am now reading 'The Host' by Stephenie Meyer. I'm addicted.
I graduate in a week and a day. :) :( Mixed feelings.
I'm rambling. Sorry, but Erin told me to post and I don't know what to post about so I'm rambling about anything I can think about.
............................................................................
....................................................................
............................................................
.....................................................
..............................................
.......................................
................................
........................
..............
.......
...
.

I don't know what else to talk about.


!!!! I know!!!!
Why don't people leave me comments about topics to talk about!!! Then, maybe I'll be motivated to post more!

Jim Jones was a pyschopath and a killer. I wish there was a way to stop people like him. He brainwashed all of his followers and them made them poison their own children and commit suicide. Retard.